The Swiss are coming

I come from a food-obsessed family. Me and mum do all the cooking while my dad and two sisters are the critics. Despite this my dad insists on telling all guests that he is head-chef at the O'Connell household. My sister Sarah is the harshest critics we have while Sinead [the middle-child] prefers not to rock the boat so insists all our dishes are wonderful. When guests announce their future arrival me and mum feel the heat. We spend the week flicking through our archive of recipe books, watching playbacks of Nigel Slater, and of course the weekend supplements which we gather in folders for future reference. The prospect of my swiss cousin arriving next week has already created chaos in my mum's mind and every time we finish eating dinner the dining table is transformed into a board-meeting as to what to cook for their upcoming arrival. Once this weekend is over we should have a better idea, all I know at this stage is that Betti Bossi [an old-fashioned swiss chef] may be on the cards. Or perhaps we will do a Jamie- the swiss are crazy for the naked chef you see.